Optimized Randomness!!

Do you understand the feeling of watching a dexter or a bing-bang theory seasons back to back, complete them and then wonder what to do next?

Do you understand the feeling of going through the facebook feed on the wall…clicking like, writing comments till the feed fails to load new content and then wonder what to do next?

Do you understand the feeling of going through all the suggested links in the online version Times of India and then wonder what to do next?

And now coming to the title of the post – Optimised Randomness. 

Optimised  –  “Make the best or most effective use of (a situation, opportunity, or resource)

Randomness – ” a thermodynamic quantity representing the amount of energy in a system that is no longer available for doing mechanical work (or) the quality of lacking any predictable order or plan

Wonder what “nonsense” am I writing up here?

I have not one but two things to tell you.

1. I am just trying to tell you the greatest concept that completely changed the way humans learn – GAS

2. Nonsense is now a word with great sense after it was redefined by Mr. Pappu..err…Mr. Rahul Gandhi

GAS – It is not the state of matter you are thinking about. Neither is it the gas that you use for cooking. This is something bigger, something nobler and something divine.

It is Generally Accepted Shit, simply called GAS.

Gone are those KISS (for the dumbers who don’t know…it is Keep It Simple Stupid) days, now you have GAS everywhere. The concept an MBA grad in making would embrace it and put it to use more than he/she puts the toilet paper to use. And engineers have an advantage here compared to the exotic species of commerce people and the so-called non-engineers. (Had I been one of them, I would… Ok, I don’t have a time machine to change the course of history. sic!)

By now, you should have understood what GAS is. I am just writing on and on…and you are just reading with your eyes wide open trying to figure out “What s**t is this!!

Yes, that’s precisely what GAS is. You play your words around the bush and don’t put across the point straight forward. It is something like the Mission, Vision statements of the Fortune 500 companies. The GAS is a tool that every MBA grad in making should possess and fine tune it to make it a part of oneself so as to naturaly deliver speeches for hours together on questions like…

1. TMAY (For the dumbers again….it is Tell Me About Yourself)

2. Tell us about a situation where you have demonstrated XXX skills? (Don’t go over the roof with wild thoughts….Bitch please!!! XXX here can be anything like team player, leadership, intuitive and the similar stuff)

The GAS is highly recommended for Marketing people. They are those who speak volumes and sell their stuff out, empty their bags only to return to you with buy 10 get another 10 free offers. unfortunately, the Fin guys don’t get a chance to GAS it out as they have to, sadly, demonstrate their knowledge about the finance, which is hardly taught (ok! that will be covered in another post). But you make it big in Fin circles, you will be invited to speak about the stuff like…

1. What do you think the RBI should do to help the fall in rupee?

2. What steps according to you should the Govt of India take to reduce CAD? (For the geeks, CAD is not Computer Aided Design…It is Current Account Deficit)

 And then you can GAS it out to the peaks. All those frustration of not able to GAS like your Marketing guys can be vented out here. One such example is the “out-standing” speech on the Future of Economy by K.V.Kamath in Mumbai, which I attended expecting some knowledge but I have received way more than that.

For the Ops guys, I am sorry. I am not sure if you can gas given that you are always busy in the back end stuff and that marketing guy in your company stealing away all the limelight. But there should be a way out. For example, some of my friends have attended a Six Sigma session which was a true masterpiece. May be,  you can GAS it out there.

For the IT guys, I need not comment as the entire industry is on GAS.  You eat, sleep, drink, code, manage GAS.  Just look back into your past (assuming that you are from the IT sector which every 1 out 10 educated bunch tends to be) and think about the meetings you had.  You see….it is so simple.

So, learn to GAS. It is the tool that stays with you forever. Ok, knowledge too!

P.S. This post is a true story based on rumors. Intended for fun but that is left to the wisdom of the reader.

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2 comments on “Optimized Randomness!!

  1. reekycoleslaw says:

    Sad reality, isn’t it? I am glad though that the MBAs are learning about it. After all, this country runs on it. The smellier the better!

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