Few days back during one of our late-night brother talks, I was talking to him about the different ways of looking at things in life. The way I look might be different from the way my brother looks. And the talk took an interesting turn when I announced “No love in this world is pure or divine. Everything is need based. Everything is like a simple business transaction”
And I went on to say “Even mother’s love is not pure”
In the dark room with little light from the bed lamp, I could see the ugly frown on his face. He was disappointed to hear it from me. He has this whole box of orthodox values and disliked discussions on controversial topics like the one I just spoke out.
There was an awkward silence for the next two minutes. I wanted to share my views and have a healthy discussion on this topic. But I am equally frightened with where this discussion might lead to.
My brother broke the silence and said “I am disappointed. I never expected to hear things like this from you. But let me understand why you said this. Go on. Share your thoughts”
And I started to explain it to him.
“Take an example of a guy who is very generous and love to help others. He is praised for his generosity and he gets a satisfaction, which he feels is divine, through his deeds”
“Now look at this carefully. The man need not help others. But he goes out of his way to help others and gains satisfaction. I say that this fella is one big selfish guy and he always expects others to come to him and ask for help. When someone comes at his doorstep and asks for help, he helps them for his selfish gain – the satisfaction he gets on doing that. A simple business transaction”
“Debit Help and Credit Satisfaction. Brother, Do you agree?”
“Now that this example shows that for everything we do, we give something only to receive something else. In the guy’s case, help others and gain satisfaction that he needed. But one must not forget that the man may or may not be aware of the selfishness in him. Sometimes, it is difficult to interpret or understand the depth in our actions. A thing like this might be programmed sub-consciously and we fail to understand the real reason behind our actions”
“Similarly, when mother gives birth to her baby, it is said that she gives away unconditional love towards her baby right from birth. Hence a mother’s love is said to one of the so-called pure and divine one. Whereas in reality, it is a subconsciously provoked response to shower love on her baby so as to receive a great sense of satisfaction. A satisfaction that she fails to measure, interpret or express. And she does this again and again to experience that satisfaction. This need or urge to attain the satisfaction is also subconsciously programmed and she fails to interpret the reason for her showering of unconditional love on her baby again and again. Infact, no mother will ever try to reason as to why she should give away unconditional love because the societal norms have made mothers to shower love and feed her child making it a non-optional social convention. So the mother’s brain is programmed right from her childhood that she should give away unconditional love to her children. But, mother’s love is also a simple business transaction. And hence no love is pure or divine”
My brother looked straight into my eyes. He took off the eye-contact and started to wonder. I started to think what he would say.
He cleared his throat and spoke.
“As the man evolves, he tries to understand the world around him. He tries to reason his actions with logic and rationality. It is a good way of doing it. And this is the reason why man is the dominant animal in the planet. But remember that there should be a threshold on the reasoning he does, especially in the areas related to social fabric. The social norms we follow have evolved over thousands of years and to relook at it with plain logic and rationality without understanding its implications is of no use. Yes, the reason in a way is right. But, remember that there is no single right answer to a social problem just like we have 101 methods in solving a math problem. We must try to utilize our energies to more useful ones rather than trying to reason on things that were meant to be the way they are”
“Your answer may the real reason behind mother’s love but asking everyone to relook at this as a business transaction does no good for the society. Consider the implications it can bring and it may lead to complete damage of our social fabric”
He patted on my back and switched off the lamp. The room was pitch-dark. After a few seconds, I was able to look at the wall and the wall hanging. The wall hanging was a photo of my mom and I.
I closed my eyes and my mom’s image flashed in front of my eyes. The image disappeared and the images of my sweet memories with her started to flash and disappear. I felt like hugging my mom right then and there.
All of sudden, someone splashed my face with a jug of water and I woke up gasping. I could see my niece with a jug and my mom standing by her side. I hugged my mom and kissed her.
Yes, some things are best unexplored. That’s why they say Ignorance is bliss!!!