55 Fiction: Girl on the shore

55 Fiction is a form of micro-fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

Girl on the shore

It’s sunrise time…

She was like a lost mermaid sitting on a rock near seashore. Her hair is completely wet and she looked just fabulous…

She leaned to one side and is drying her wet hair. The curves on her body made the water so irresistible that a giant wave came and took her away…

P.S. This is my first 55 fiction. Please give me your valuable feedback so that I can improve myself for the next one.


10 comments on “55 Fiction: Girl on the shore

  1. Tarun says:

    Blunt and ironical..can be better 🙂 keep posting

  2. megzone says:

    wow… good one there 🙂

  3. Vijetha Koya says:

    Good write-up 🙂 “Fabulous 55 Fiction”

  4. Gyanban says:

    Sunil – you have the central idea captured very well however I felt the sentences need to be rephrased.

    It’s sunrise time – could read as as the dawn breaks or maybe the first rays of the sun.
    Hair being completely wet is probably not a beautiful sight as many women might agree.,,instead something like droplets kissed her hair and splashed through her curves might sound a bit more romantic.

    But needless to say you are the final judge of your writing…

    • Gyanban..thanks buddy for your valuable feedback. Yes, indeed I too felt that a bit of rephrasing the words would have made it even better. Hope I dont repeat it in next fiction. Once again…Thanks and keep visiting 🙂

  5. shravani says:

    wow sunil…nice writing…
    the one in buzz is gud,,.:-)

  6. HseveD says:

    i wonder Y the wave haven’t taken u.. instead of that curvy gal…[:p]..
    juss a kiddooo good work yar

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